It's Almost Time

T-minus two days to lift-off.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. So many thoughts have gone through my head and I didn't take the time to write them out. But, ya know what? I think that's probably for the better. What I mean by that is that a lot of it had to do with worry. Worrying about safety, about how I'll handle being away from my family for the longest I've ever been away from them, about getting everything in order before I go, about having misguided expectations, etc.

Today, though, I'm getting stinkin' excited. I've started to get all my clothes together. I got all my snacks tonight and some new underwear. The essentials.

Not to get all deep or anything, but...a couple weeks ago Julie and I had a great conversation that has shaped my thoughts about this trip. Before our talk, I had been reading a missions field guide and it said, “You will be the answer to someone's prayer.” I was really down on myself at the time and just felt like, “Yeah, right. Not me. There's no reason God should let that happen.” The truth is, I'm a selfish person. I hate that, but it's true. I don't want to be. Even when I'm down on myself I'm being selfish! It's all about me. Gosh...I'm a little wary of sharing this, but I think it's important. Julie pointed out that I was living in my own little bubble. Everything, bad or good, revolved around me. I needed to break out of that. See the amazing people around me and appreciate them. And believe me, I did even before we had that conversation, but I wasn't intentional about telling them so.

With that in mind, I'm still expecting this trip to be life-changing, but not just so I can blog about it. I'm going to serve. I'm going to be the answer to somebody's prayer. Not because I'm awesome or worth it, but because God has placed me where I am for a reason. I'm humbled by that. And honored.

And I'm honored that you're interested in my life. Thank you for being an answer to my prayers.

Happy Coincidence

Two weeks from tomorrow we leave for Haiti. Craziness. I feel ready, yet, I don't.

The past few days have been a little strange. I feel weird writing about it. Hesitant. Let me explain...

It's the “just in case” that's weirding me out. I'm only leaving for twelve days, but anything could happen, ya know? So, I've been getting things ready for Julie, as far as our finances and bills and that kind of thing go. I'm the one with all the usernames and passwords. I'm the one who knows what our bills are and when and how we pay them. I have a system where, when I get our bills (and essentially any other sort of correspondence), I put them in a box. Sometimes more than one box. But then, at some point, I combine those boxes. It's all very technical. That said, it's a system I wouldn't expect Julie to be able to comprehend. Therefore, I bought a filing cabinet and started to fill it with our important documents. So they're in one spot, ya know? Car titles, birth certificates, sewer bills, two years worth of earnings statements, receipts for the dryer and auto repairs, my certificate from Youth Specialties...you know, the important stuff. I emptied one box into folders successfully and then piled the rest in the top drawer. I'll have to come back to it.

What's weird is that I should have done this stuff already. I mean, anything can happen at any time; not just when you're going to Haiti. So, it's good, this organizing and sharing of information.

But then, another wrinkle. The other night Julie and I had an amazing talk. Well, it ended up as a talk, though it didn't start that way. Essentially, she reminded me to get outside of myself. “Stop staring at yourself in the mirror and break through that stupid thing! See the amazing people around you!” she suggested. Suggested. Right. And she was right. I overthink everything. I'm stuck in my own head, drowning in my own sorrows and worries much of the time. Usually unnecessarily.

So, I've been taking time to write notes to my friends when I think of them. Just to tell them how amazing I think they are and how my life is better because they're in it. To encourage them, because they deserve it. Everyone deserves that.

Which leads to the tinge of weirdness I'm feeling. If this were a movie, it would all be too predictable. I get my affairs in order and then all these notes become a happy, yet eerie, coincidence after my earthly demise. Somehow I die and everyone has a sweet note to remember me by and my wife and kids know how to pay the cable bill.

Now, the reality is that I should have organized all our financial stuff a long time ago and this just gave me the motivation to get serious about it. And the notes? My intention is solely to bring a smile to those who have made my life better. Nothing else.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep getting my stuff in order. And I'm going to keep writing notes to my friends. And I'm going to keep getting excited about the trip. Two weeks...amazing.

Anybody have a mosquito net I can borrow? Trip supplies are next...

Santa Lives There!

This morning I endured my first round of shots for the trip. Two in each shoulder. Hep A, Hep B, Typhoid and a good ol' flu vaccine. Besides feeling exhausted, I haven't really noticed any side-effects. Besides sore arms. Give it time, I suppose.

It still hasn't hit me that we're leaving ONE MONTH from today. Stunning. I don't really feel ready at all, but I don't feel not ready, either...if that makes any sense. Like, I haven't consciously prepared for the trip as much as I will in the coming weeks, but I'm not worried about that. I'm sure I'll have more feelings as we get closer, but right now things are fine. Fine...yeah.

The other day I showed Sam where Haiti is on his globe. It was really fun. He couldn't believe how far away it was. He toted that globe around all day, too. In fact, when he got in the bath he made sure not to get his hands wet so he could look at it while in the tub. Then he called to me from the other room. "DAD! I FOUND SANTA!" I went in and he pointed to the globe and said, "Look! You're going where Santa lives!" His little finger was pointing at Santa Dominga in the D.R. Adorable.

I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to be away from those little guys for almost two weeks.

Oh, financially I'm doing well for the trip. I plan on updating my fundraising spreadsheet tonight and will post an update soon. There's still time to donate if you'd like! Let me know.

End update.

Travel Clinic

Today I went to the travel clinic to learn about all of the health related issues I'll face when I go to Haiti. Instead, it turned into an hour of a lady telling me about all the ways I'll die when I'm there.

Ok, so it wasn't that bad, but close.

She told me all about malaria and dengue fever and other diseases transmitted by mosquitos. She told me to stay away from dogs because they all have rabies and if they bite or scratch me, basically, I'll die. She told me not to swim in anything but the ocean and not to drink any water (but beer is ok, so that's cool). She told me not to eat any salad or lettuce, even if it's a leaf on a sandwich. She told me I'll probably get bad diarrhea, but that she'll prescribe some pills for it. She told me about the three shots I'll need.

Then she said, with all sincerity, "So, are you excited for your trip?" "I was!" I replied. "Now it sounds like I better live it up while I'm there because apparently I'm not coming back alive!"

Seriously, I'm glad I went and that I'll be immunized against disease and prepared if I get the runs, but it's also pretty nerve-wracking. Especially for somebody that is naturally paranoid, like myself.

But then, I'm sure there are a TON of people who just go and never think twice about that stuff. I kind of envy them. Ignorance is bliss.

Until you get a mosquito bite and die of dengue fever.

(Gosh, I wanted to end it there, but it's too pessimistic. Really, truly, I'm glad I went today and I feel way more prepared now, health-wise. Thanks, doctor!)

November Thoughts

It's been over a month? Yikes. Time to get some thoughts out.

Less than two months and I'll be in Haiti. Amazing. It still doesn't seem real, though. I wonder when I'll start getting nervous? Probably when we start having meetings and stuff. Right now it all still seems theoretical. Except for raising funds, which has been going well (but I still have a ways to go, if you'd like to help!).

I told Steve the other day that one of my concerns is being treated like I know what I'm doing. I mean, I'm a pastor, but I've never been on a foreign mission trip. I'm a newbie! And, not to sound demanding, but I want to be treated like one. Treat me just like anybody else who has never been to the slums of a poor country. Tell me what to expect. Help me understand what I'm getting myself into and how awesome it's going to be. And how difficult and rewarding it's going to be. And I'm not saying Steve or Mandy are doing anything wrong at all (really, not much has happened yet), but I just want to experience this as a first-timer and not a vet. I hope that makes sense.

Thursday I'm going to the travel clinic to learn about any shots I need to get and about all the health related stuff I need to know. I'm looking forward to it, except for the shots. I think I'm just going to say I only want what I absolutely have to get. Which might be nothing and I'm good with that. That will make things more real, I think.

Another thing I've been thinking about a little is...how will they react to my arm? Different cultures have different ways of viewing/dealing with that, so I wonder how the Haitians will react. Specifically, I wonder how the kids will react. Will they recoil? Or will they still play with me? I'm very, very rarely self-conscious about my arm, but in this case it's a concern. I'm not sure why. Maybe I don't want to feel like an outcast. To feel rejected. Wow...rejected by orphans...that would be something. So, I don't want to make it a big deal or anything, but it's something I'm thinking about.

Honestly, I really feel like I need to be praying more about this trip, too. It could really be life-changing and I don't want to miss that. And, let's face it, there's risk involved. There's some danger. I need to be praying for safety, for my family to be well and safe without me, for opportunities to grow...a million things, really.

It's a very exciting time in my life and, like Aerosmith said, "I don't wanna miss a thi-ing."

Right Around The Corner!

"When do you leave for Haiti?" asked my friend Kelly.

Answering that question jarred me into reality. I'll be going to Haiti in a little more than TWO months! It seems so far away...2010. But, it's really right around the corner. Speaking of...I need to finish my application. I did find my passport the other day and it's valid through 2013. Huzzah!

There are a couple other things on my mind lately. Honestly, I can't allow myself to think about being away from my family for that long yet. It's too difficult. It'll only be 10 days, but still...that's a long time.

Also, my pastor, Steve, and friend, Chris, just got back from being down there and I'm excited to hear about it from them. I saw some pictures on FB and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall in love with the kids. I just don't know any way around it. In fact, I posted my fundraising letter on our work's "virtual water cooler," and this lady I've never met emailed me and told me the kids are going to "melt your heart." She had a similar experience in Port au Prince. I hear that from everyone, though. Those kids are going to capture my heart. My life is going to change.

And that's kind of the point, isn't it?

I'm counting on it.

Why Haiti?

Back in April, during The Masters golf tournament, a new commercial debuted on network TV. It was for TOMS shoes. You've probably seen it. A hip looking young guy talks about how his business couldn't exist without services from AT&T and then he describes his business as we see pictures of shoeless kids running around getting new shoes. This young guy is Blake Mycoskie, "Chief Shoe Giver" at TOMS Shoes, a company he founded with a simple premise: "With every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need. One for One. Using the purchasing power of individuals to benefit the greater good is what we're all about."

When I saw it...I cried. Really. Shocking, right?

I had actually known about TOMS for quite a while. I'd read about them in Relevant Magazine a long time ago. I thought it was a cool idea, but seeing it in action (on TV) really moved me. I watched the commercial online a few more times and then I went to their website and clicked on "opportunities." I wanted to be involved somehow. There had to be a way.

I didn't find a way to get involved with TOMS (besides buying a pair), but it got me thinking. I've never done foreign missions work. I'm 32 and I'm a pastor, but I've never been overseas to serve. I was feeling drawn toward it. Then another thought popped into my mind.

Haiti.

My friend Mandy started a sponsorship organization in partnership with an orphanage in Jacmel, Haiti a few years ago and our church, The Journey, has been heavily involved with it. Groups from our church have gone there over the past couple of years to help. I had never seriously thought about going. But now, it just made sense. Not only could I be involved in foreign missions, but I could help kids that I'm already directly involved with!

The opportunity had been there all along, but it took TOMS shoes to get me to really see it.