It's Almost Time

T-minus two days to lift-off.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. So many thoughts have gone through my head and I didn't take the time to write them out. But, ya know what? I think that's probably for the better. What I mean by that is that a lot of it had to do with worry. Worrying about safety, about how I'll handle being away from my family for the longest I've ever been away from them, about getting everything in order before I go, about having misguided expectations, etc.

Today, though, I'm getting stinkin' excited. I've started to get all my clothes together. I got all my snacks tonight and some new underwear. The essentials.

Not to get all deep or anything, but...a couple weeks ago Julie and I had a great conversation that has shaped my thoughts about this trip. Before our talk, I had been reading a missions field guide and it said, “You will be the answer to someone's prayer.” I was really down on myself at the time and just felt like, “Yeah, right. Not me. There's no reason God should let that happen.” The truth is, I'm a selfish person. I hate that, but it's true. I don't want to be. Even when I'm down on myself I'm being selfish! It's all about me. Gosh...I'm a little wary of sharing this, but I think it's important. Julie pointed out that I was living in my own little bubble. Everything, bad or good, revolved around me. I needed to break out of that. See the amazing people around me and appreciate them. And believe me, I did even before we had that conversation, but I wasn't intentional about telling them so.

With that in mind, I'm still expecting this trip to be life-changing, but not just so I can blog about it. I'm going to serve. I'm going to be the answer to somebody's prayer. Not because I'm awesome or worth it, but because God has placed me where I am for a reason. I'm humbled by that. And honored.

And I'm honored that you're interested in my life. Thank you for being an answer to my prayers.

Happy Coincidence

Two weeks from tomorrow we leave for Haiti. Craziness. I feel ready, yet, I don't.

The past few days have been a little strange. I feel weird writing about it. Hesitant. Let me explain...

It's the “just in case” that's weirding me out. I'm only leaving for twelve days, but anything could happen, ya know? So, I've been getting things ready for Julie, as far as our finances and bills and that kind of thing go. I'm the one with all the usernames and passwords. I'm the one who knows what our bills are and when and how we pay them. I have a system where, when I get our bills (and essentially any other sort of correspondence), I put them in a box. Sometimes more than one box. But then, at some point, I combine those boxes. It's all very technical. That said, it's a system I wouldn't expect Julie to be able to comprehend. Therefore, I bought a filing cabinet and started to fill it with our important documents. So they're in one spot, ya know? Car titles, birth certificates, sewer bills, two years worth of earnings statements, receipts for the dryer and auto repairs, my certificate from Youth Specialties...you know, the important stuff. I emptied one box into folders successfully and then piled the rest in the top drawer. I'll have to come back to it.

What's weird is that I should have done this stuff already. I mean, anything can happen at any time; not just when you're going to Haiti. So, it's good, this organizing and sharing of information.

But then, another wrinkle. The other night Julie and I had an amazing talk. Well, it ended up as a talk, though it didn't start that way. Essentially, she reminded me to get outside of myself. “Stop staring at yourself in the mirror and break through that stupid thing! See the amazing people around you!” she suggested. Suggested. Right. And she was right. I overthink everything. I'm stuck in my own head, drowning in my own sorrows and worries much of the time. Usually unnecessarily.

So, I've been taking time to write notes to my friends when I think of them. Just to tell them how amazing I think they are and how my life is better because they're in it. To encourage them, because they deserve it. Everyone deserves that.

Which leads to the tinge of weirdness I'm feeling. If this were a movie, it would all be too predictable. I get my affairs in order and then all these notes become a happy, yet eerie, coincidence after my earthly demise. Somehow I die and everyone has a sweet note to remember me by and my wife and kids know how to pay the cable bill.

Now, the reality is that I should have organized all our financial stuff a long time ago and this just gave me the motivation to get serious about it. And the notes? My intention is solely to bring a smile to those who have made my life better. Nothing else.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep getting my stuff in order. And I'm going to keep writing notes to my friends. And I'm going to keep getting excited about the trip. Two weeks...amazing.

Anybody have a mosquito net I can borrow? Trip supplies are next...

Santa Lives There!

This morning I endured my first round of shots for the trip. Two in each shoulder. Hep A, Hep B, Typhoid and a good ol' flu vaccine. Besides feeling exhausted, I haven't really noticed any side-effects. Besides sore arms. Give it time, I suppose.

It still hasn't hit me that we're leaving ONE MONTH from today. Stunning. I don't really feel ready at all, but I don't feel not ready, either...if that makes any sense. Like, I haven't consciously prepared for the trip as much as I will in the coming weeks, but I'm not worried about that. I'm sure I'll have more feelings as we get closer, but right now things are fine. Fine...yeah.

The other day I showed Sam where Haiti is on his globe. It was really fun. He couldn't believe how far away it was. He toted that globe around all day, too. In fact, when he got in the bath he made sure not to get his hands wet so he could look at it while in the tub. Then he called to me from the other room. "DAD! I FOUND SANTA!" I went in and he pointed to the globe and said, "Look! You're going where Santa lives!" His little finger was pointing at Santa Dominga in the D.R. Adorable.

I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to be away from those little guys for almost two weeks.

Oh, financially I'm doing well for the trip. I plan on updating my fundraising spreadsheet tonight and will post an update soon. There's still time to donate if you'd like! Let me know.

End update.