Heavy Duty Editing

This is mainly for my wife, but I thought I'd let you know, too, reader (that's a lotta commas), that there's a lot in my journal that I'm not posting. There were experiences and feelings that I had and struggled through that are best kept in the privacy of my little black book. And honestly, while they're interesting to me, I'm sure they wouldn't be to anyone else. Thanks for understanding.

Day 6: Halfway (Jan 6th, 2010)

Let's go backwards today.

On the way home from church at Nego and Ellen's, we saw a beautiful wedding taking place and a truckload of boy scouts. It was great.

Service at Nego's was great. A small building they must rent that's right next to a loud restaurant. It's actually more of a youth group, which is really cool. There were probably 50 people there. Steve introduced us all to the crowd and then Mark and Christy played/sang a couple songs. Very cute. Steve spoke about love. Doing everything we do in love. At the very end, Nego said, "Pastor Ryan, will you close us in prayer?" I was really caught off-guard, but honored to pray.

Honestly, the whole day was pretty hum-drum. Got up to the orphanage pretty early and spent the whole day there until 3:30pm. Jehmley was a peach (sarcastic) almost all day. Just crying and screaming.

That kid has a scream that equals his smile. The whole day I just kind of hung-out with hte kids and helped with the wall when I could. They actually got all the footings and almost all the rebar up. I think the construction guys feel really successful. And they should. I also presented the kids with the school supplies that Anna's preschool class sent with me. That was nice.

At one point I showed some of the kids pictures of my family on my iPod. When Julie popped up, Kangine sighed, "Oh, belle!" That means pretty. It was adorable. And of course, I agreed. Kangine is Pastor Millen's daughter and she is one of my favorites. Beautiful girl, funny and super shy. But shy in a funny way. She thinks it's funny to say my name (and Chris) and then act like she didn't when I respond. Dork.

(I also wrote a letter to Julie, but that's private. Sorry...but, not really.)

Even Kid Rock Has A Heart

Chris Martin (Coldplay) is playing piano while Beyonce sings, "Haiti, I can see your halo..." and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. It's so corny, but they're doing what they can to help. They're playing clips from the first days after the earthquake...and I have to turn it off. I'm actually shaking. I thought I had distanced myself from these feelings, but clearly they're still beneath the surface.

This fundraiser is being broadcast on over 25 networks and millions upon millions of people all over the world are watching and giving. And thinking about Haiti. It's kind of blowing my mind. But it leads to something else I was thinking about early today.

I wonder how aware the Haitians are that the world is watching them? And concerned for them? And helping them? And loving them? They're trying to survive and we're watching Sting and Questlove perform to raise money for them. They're trying to find drinkable water and we're watching Justin Timberlake and some other dude (who's friggin' awesome, by the way) sing Hallelujah. They're trying to find medicine and we're watching Steven Spielberg take donations from a lady, asking her how she feels about the situation. It's mind-boggling. Surreal.

I'm so glad to see people from all walks of life doing whatever they can to help. To see celebrities using their status, their fame for good. It's a little weird, but...whatever it takes.

I just hope the people of Haiti can sense the love that the world has for them at this time. And I hope that love doesn't fade.

Day 5 (Jan 5th, 2010)

Another day at the orphanage. Breakfast gave us a late start this morning...again. Plus, the generator didn't work, which meant no water or electricity. No shower. No lights. No problem.

The weather was actually pretty nice. Started out sunny, then got overcast and rained pretty hard a couple times. Not enough to stop anything we were doing, though. They really made amazing progress on the footings for the wall. Got three sections done, I think. I helped a little, but not much. Mostly I was with the kids.

Jehmley likes me. He quiets down from crying when I come and wails when I put him down. Madame says he's three! He's so tiny.

They all are. Baby Smith is so skinny, I literally thought his legs were going to break when Kaline was pulling on them while he was on the swing. She's a trouble maker. She stole my pen and I had to steal it back. Weslai, Jean Paul, and Joclyn are some of my favorites, too. Older boys, fantastic laughs, a bit of trouble-maker in 'em... I showed Weslai a picture of our family and said all their names and he repeated, "Sam." I can't wait to connect them. (That last statement tears at me now)

We had a great meal cooked by Madame Millien. Chicken, fries, some bread-thing, potato salad-ish, and a Sprite. They made us eat before the kids, which was weird and hard, but whatever. I guess we just do what they say. It was really good.
...
The Sea, Again: Give Up The Ring!

After the day at the orphanage, some of us went back to the sea. Me, Cecil and his mom, Emily, Nick and Sahlman. I can't believe everybody else stayed back at the hotel.

It was beautiful again. Nice and cool, but not too cool. We body surfed in the waves, which were bigger this time. And the sunset was gorgeous.

I also trolled the beach for my ring. I prayed. "God, I believe in miracles." I promised that if He washed it up on shore, I'd sit there and cry for an hour. Sadly, it didn't turn up. But, I got some smooth stones for my family.

After the beach we ate at Sesanete since we thought our power was still out. I had a cheeseburger and fries and it was dee-lish.

After we ate, Sahlman took me to his place. I feel honored to be the first to see it. (Ended up that I was the ONLY one to see it) It was a short block and a half from the restaurant, but the alley was dark. I can't believe he's staying on his own. Amazing.

When we got to the gate, he had a hard time with the lock and it was pitch black and this dog JUMPS up and scares the crap out of us. It was hilarious.

Well, I'll probably watch some "500 Days of Summer" on my iPod again. And think about Julie. And cry. I hope she likes it as much as me. (She hadn't seen it yet)

Day 4 (Jan 4th, 2010)

Our intention was to start the wall today, so after our breakfast (eggs for me again), the guys went out to buy supplies.

This was how it was supposed to work:

8am - guys buy supplies and go to orphanage to start building
10am - girls get picked up and brought to orphanage
4pm - leave, eat, change
5:30pm - crusade

What actually happened:

8am - guys buy supplies, it takes over 2 hours
11am-ish - go back to hotel to get girls, all go to orphanage together, but stop to get shovels
? - get to orphanage, play with kids, move swingset, go home at 4:30pm, swim, nap, eat
No crusade because the stage isn't built, so we go to Texaco and use the internet
Whatever time it is now - journal

Awesome.

It was so hot today. And it was long. I got sunburned and sweat through everything. Everyone did. Jeff especially. He wore a bandana and has a white line across his forehead. It's fantastic.

I'm a little overwhelmed with how much I want to write, so when I get that way from now on, I'm just going to do "quick hits" to jog my memory later.

I'm learning more of the kids' names and faces. Jean Paul, Joclyn, Jehmley, Weslai, Samantha, Kaylene and Kaylin, Allickson, Roly, Ochen...it's great.

Joclyn wanted my watch today and was so mad when Mandy told him no. I ended up giving it to him...and he gave it back later! That was unexpected.

Swimming when we got back to the hotel was fun. Steve won the contest for holding your breath and swimming the most lengths of the pool. Of course. He beat Harvey, Ole and Nick...handily.

Dinner was spaghetti. Yum.

Went to Texaco and used the internet. Julie wrote back before I left! Loved it. Realized I was done using the internet after about five minutes, though. Weird.

Only regret for the day? That I didn't buy a Snickers at the Texaco.

Not bad.

Why Am I Doing This?

I wanted to take a second to answer this question: Why are you posting all this?

There are a couple reasons, really. First of all, I like to write. And let's be honest, writers like to be read. If I didn't want people to read what I'm writing, I'd keep it in my notebook and put it under my pillow. Which, by the way, is uncomfortable.

Whether it's just my wife, friends and family or people I've never met, I'm happy to share my experience with anybody that's interested. So, whoever you are...thank you for being interested.

Once the earthquake hit, a whole new slew of reasons to write presented themselves. It's been really important for me and my friends who went on the trip to relive it through my journal. For many of us, once the news broke of the quake, our trip became a distant memory. It's been therapeutic to go through my journal and remember all the amazing times we had together. Even while we're grieving and concerned, we have to remember those ten days.

Also, any attention I can bring to Faith Orphanage is good. They need all the help they can get and anything I can do to get the word out, I'll do. It feels strange to be interviewed by the papers and to post stuff on the internet, but if it gets people involved...I'm in.

So, thank you for reading and for understanding. And please, please, if you can...donate to a worthy cause. www.thejourneycommunity.com

Day 3 Concluded

First of all, an update on the ring situation. I ended up telling Julie about it on the drive to her sister's house after I got home. She was upset that I didn't tell her when it happened, but understood why I didn't. It was sad, but we've moved on and are excited to get the next installment.

The Beach: Part Deux

We swam a while before the kids arrived. One thing I forgot to mention before was how salty the water was. The first time it got in my mouth, my face scrunched up. I forgot it was salt water!

We were actually still looking for my ring when the kids arrived. I thanked the guys for looking, but said it was time to turn our attention to the kids. It was my own stupid fault anyway.

There were 32 kids that came to the beach. "Babies" to older teens, maybe 20s. Steve's girl, Kaylene, came in with him and was having a blast. I think she has one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. Period. Her sister is hilarious. Many of the kids came in even though it was "cold." One little guy rode on my back for a long time and wanted me to help him swim. Then we'd fount to five in French and go under together.

By the end, many of them were shivering and tired. And it was pouring rain the last half hour or so.

In the Caribbean Sea, pouring rain, surrounded by palm trees, mountains and smiling Haitian orphans...c'mon.

Loading up was the saddest part. ALL of the orphanage piled into the back of a small pick-up. 30-some children. A lot of them were smiling, but some of the smaller ones were crying and they were all wet and shivering. Even now, hours later, it's still raining.

Our ride home was quite the adventure, too. All 15 of us standing in the back of a pick-up truck, driving through the pouring rain. All the culverts were overflowing. But, it was really fun! We also picked up an old lady that needed a ride into town, which was funny.

A great first day at the beach.
...
Now we're back in the hotel, waiting for dinner. Goat for me tonight. Can't wait. It's still raining, which is a bummer. I hope it stops. The electricity just came back on, too, which is good. Still haven't talked to Julie, but hopefully I can try again tonight. I miss her like crazy. Distance, fondness, etc.
...
Quick thoughts:

The Packers won today. 33-7 or something. Wish I could have seen it. And I can't believe we'll miss the first round of the playoffs! Bah!

Jimly? Jemly? I think it's Jemly.

Dinner was good. The goat was tasty. I'm still not eating the salad or coleslaw. Nick keeps eating everyone's leftovers, especially the plantains.

There are lizards all over. I love it! And we saw a huge frog outside our room tonight. Very cool.

The dogs have multiplied at dinner time.

Thus concludes Day 3!